The Road Home
by Dark Inzanity
Summary: Chapter 6 finally posted. Please read! Warning: Character Death. What happens to the Camdens after Eric and Annie die suddenly? Please read and review Thanks!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me.   
  
An observant reader may recognize elements from the prologue as the beginning of a story called Witness, posted several weeks ago. I pulled the story off www.fanfiction.net due to lack of motivation (but I am grateful to all who reviewed) and I have a totally different idea (thanks to some friendly inspiration from my friend Spit Fire, and 'twas I who challenged Spit to write a "Gay Simon" fic, as the idea of "Gay Simon" intrigues me and this story is likely to go that direction I later chapters...)   
  
I like dark fics. This story is going to be very dark. It starts with character death. Please don't flame me if you don't like it. (Constructive feedback is totally different, and greatly appreciated) I'm telling you now so you can make the choice to read it and I hope you do. So here it is...It comes with a read at your own risk warning. Some material may not be suitable for all readers.   
  
Please remember this is a work of fiction. All similarities to persons or events is purely coincidental. That said, it's time to begin.  
  
  
The Road Home  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
  
Prologue  
Glen Oak, California  
  
Lucy Camden sat her three year old twin brothers side by side on the sofa. Sam held on to his favorite teddy bear and David kept a small toy car in his tiny fist. Lucy had delayed this moment as long as possible, and still wasn't ready for it. The boys were so little. Maybe too little to understand. They looked at her with their big, innocent little boy eyes and she felt her heart snap in a thousand tiny pieces. As if she wasn't broken enough.  
  
She took a deep breath and touched each of the boys, checking their solidity, reassuring herself they were there. Alive. Whole. Beautiful. Perfect. Untouched by the evils of the world. Tears dripped from her eyes onto her hands.  
  
Simon reached out to lay his hand on Lucy's shoulder for support and Kevin reached for one of her hands, gripping it in his. Ruthie stood behind Lucy, Kevin, and Simon, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot.   
  
"What wrong?" The boys asked as if they had rehearsed the question, their voices rising with the same intonations. "Why sad?"   
  
"Sammy, Davey, we have to tell you something very important. Okay?" Lucy's voice wavered, and her eyes darted from one boy to the other. She didn't dare look at Kevin or Simon or Ruthie. "I need you to listen carefully."  
  
"We listen, Lucy." Sam had a slightly higher pitched voice than his brother, but upset as she was, Lucy couldn't tell their voice apart. She attempted a smile for their sakes, to reassure them.   
  
"Remember this morning when you got up and Roxanne was here babysitting you?"  
  
Sam nodded and David looked bewildered. "We bemember," Sam reached out to pat his sister's cheek.   
  
"The rest of us went to the hospital. Mommy and Daddy were hurt in a car accident. Do you understand what I'm telling you? Mommy and Daddy went to Heaven, boys. They went home to Jesus."  
  
The boys looked at each other, their eyes wide. One of them nodded and two little voices rang out with "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."  
  
What tiny fragments were left of Lucy's heart shattered completely at the boys innocence. She folded in on herself, her face hidden behind her hands as she cried. Kevin put his arm around her then, and pulled her to his shoulder. The twins climbed off the sofa and stood each on one side of Lucy, their little hands on her back.   
  
"We be okay." One of the boys said.  
  
His brother finished the thought. "Not be sad."  
  
Lucy pulled away from Kevin and caught both boys in the circle of her arm. Simon reached for Ruthie, and the two of them joined the circle, along with Kevin.  
  
*.~.*  
  
Later that afternoon, Simon and Ruthie had the boys upstairs when the doorbell rang. Lucy slowly pulled herself away from Kevin and dried her face with Kleenex before she went to answer it.  
  
A woman in a three piece pant suit stood on the porch.   
  
Kevin stood behind her when she pulled the door open.  
  
"Lucy Camden?"  
  
"Yes." Lucy could barely speak through the lump in her throat.  
  
"My name is Jillian Adler. I am here on behalf of child welfare services to check up on the minors Simon Camden, Ruthie Camden, Samuel Camden, and David Camden."  
  
"Child welfare services?" Kevin repeated.  
  
"Yes, sir. And you are..."  
  
Kevin extended his hand. "Kevin Kinkirk, ma'am. I'm Lucy's fiancée." Lucy shot Kevin a confused look. Kevin offered only a small nod of explanation, and directed it at Jillian Adler. "We have been planning a summer wedding, however in light of recent events and the unfortunate passing of Lucy's parents, we will marry sooner so that we can properly take the children in."  
  
Lucy stepped back and reached for Kevin's hand. She gave a gentle squeeze to say she understood what he was doing.   
  
"I see." Jillian Adler craned her neck to get a good look inside the house. "And where do you currently live, Mr. Kinkirk?"  
  
"In the apartment over the garage," Kevin answered without missing a beat.  
  
"And what about housing for the children? I understand this property belongs to Glen Oak Community Church. What happens if the church takes the house back, now that Reverend Camden will no longer provide his service to the church?"  
  
Lucy fought the urge to attack the woman for the emotional cruelty of her words.  
  
"Lucy and I always planned to buy our own house as soon as we were married."  
  
"What is it that you do, Mr Kinkirk?"  
  
"Officer Kinkirk, ma'am. I am a police officer."  
  
"I see." Jillian Adler's entire manner seemed to change with that knowledge. She looked at Kevin a little closer, and at the same time she backed down. "In that case...I'll bid you good evening, and I'm sure we will be talking soon about this situation."  
  
Kevin sepped forward to shut the door, while offering Jillian Adler obligatory farewells. Once the door closed, he leaned against it and turned his eyes to Lucy.  
  
"We're getting married?"  
  
"We have to. The state will take the kids if we don't. The twins and Ruthie, at least."  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
"What?"  
  
Lucy moved forward and pressed herself against Kevin. "I just realized we're orphans."  
  
"We're going to keep the kids together, Lucy. You and me and Simon and Ruthie and Sam and David. It's going to be okay."  
  
Lucy shook her head as the tears spilled down her cheeks. "Nothing will ever be okay again, Kevin."  
  
"Then we'll just do the best that we can."  
  
*.~.* 


	2. Everyone Has To KNow

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me. Please remember this is a work of fiction. All similarities to persons or events is purely coincidental. That said, it's time to begin.  
  
Author's Note: This story will be told from multi-person points of view. Whenever a new person takes over narration, their name will be set off in brackets () so that the reader will know who is talking. At times I may also use a non-character, or third person, narrator. This will be noted as (3rd Person Narrative) or (3rdPN)  
  
Author's Request: Please read and review. Constructive criticsm welcome. Please don't flame.  
  
The Road Home  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
  
Chapter 1  
Everyone Has To Know  
  
(Lucy)  
  
Kevin offered t make the calls for me, but I couldn't pass that off on him. They were my parents, and I had to take the responsibility of letting family and friends know what had happened.  
  
The task seemed so overwhelming that for several minutes I could only flip through Mom's address book, looking for a place to start. Matt, and Mary. They should be first on the contact list. How could I just call my brother, or my sister, and tell them Mom and Dad were killed in a car accident last night?   
  
I had to call my grandparents too, and tell them their children, my parents, were dead. Then Aunt Julie needed to know her brother was gone.  
  
I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang. Tears sprung to my eyes and I felt like screaming.  
  
Kevin rubbed my shoulders. "I'll get it." He reached passed me to pick up the receiver. "Camden residence."  
  
I cringed at his words. Camden residence. My father's house.  
  
Kevin put his hand over the phone and held it down to his chest. "It's Robbie. Do you want to talk to him?" I shook my head. "Do you want me to tell him?"  
  
I shook my head again and reached for the phone. Robbie was practically my brother, after living with my family for...how many years? I couldn't remember, and I didn't have the energy to try to think about it. I couldn't even say for sure how long he had been gone. A month? Maybe two, since he went to Florida to be with his mother.  
  
I always wondered if he really went to give it another shot with Mary, but I couldn't think about that now.  
  
"Robbie?"  
  
"Hey, Luce. What's up?"  
  
I closed my eyes and tried not to think about kissing Robbie. At least my parents were alive then. "Robbie, there was an accident last night."  
  
"An accident? What kind of accident? Lucy, is everyone okay?"  
  
I shook my head and took a deep breath to try to steady my nerves. I opened my mouth to say it, but the words wouldn't come. I tried again. "My parents..."  
  
"Your parents? Lucy? What happened?"  
  
"I can't...I can't, Robbie. I'm sorry." I shoved the phone back to Kevin. I had to walk away when he started talking. I couldn't listen to that conversation. I didn't want to hear him say the words.  
  
I started upstairs to check on the kids, but only stood at the bottom of the steps. Kevin found me there, just looking up to the hallway above. I felt like I was frozen there, unable to move.  
  
He put his arms around me and kissed the side of my face. His lips felt so warm on my skin. I wanted to melt into him.  
  
"Robbie said he would call Mary."  
  
I nodded. I wasn't sure I could do it, after the way I fell apart with him. "Matt!" I yelped. "I have to call Matt."  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
"No. I have to. I have to tell him. He's my brother..." I went back to the kitchen phone and sat on one of the bar stools. My hands shook as I dialed the number...  
  
  
  
(Matt)  
  
My parent's number came up on the caller ID, and I almost didn't answer it because my parents can talk and talk and talk, even when I try to tell them I have to study. But I'd been feeling uneasy, that odd sense that something, somewhere, is wrong, all day. So picked up the phone, expecting Mom, and hoping she would tell me everything was fine back home.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Matt? Matt, it's Lucy." I was glad she identified herself, because her voice wasn't quite right.   
  
She sounded like she was crying, I realized suddenly. "Lucy?"  
  
"Matt..." She made some kind of strangled sound and the phone seemed to fall and hit the floor.   
  
A moment later Kevin spoke. "Matt, hey. Sorry about that. I knew she couldn't..."  
  
"What is it? Kevin, what's going on?" My heart jumped into my throat, or something like that. I could feel it beating wildly, as if I had just run a ten mile marathon.  
  
I guess it was my tone that caught Sarah's attention. She came ou of the bedroom with a puzzled look. I could only shrug my shoulders, since I didn't know yet what was wrong.  
  
"Matt, your parents...last night...they were on their way home..."  
  
"Kevin?" I knew what he was getting at, and I couldn't believe it. No. Not my parents. Please God, not my parents. "Kevin, no." I wanted to cry. The tears filled my eyes and I tried to fight them back.   
  
Sarah came to me and put her arms around me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Matt. It was a drunk driver. He crossed the line and...and they never had a chance. They didn't suffer, Matt. They died instantly."  
  
"Both of them?" I asked, holding on to a small, impossible hope, that one of them might have survived.  
  
"I'm sorry." I had never heard Kevin's voice falter. He always seemed so unemotional, no matter what was going on. Until now, until this.   
  
My parents...dead. How? How could that be possible? Car accidents happen to other people. Not my family. Not my parents. "I...I'll be there as soon as I can. Tell Lucy, tell all of them I love them and I'll be there as soon as I can."  
  
Sarah looked up at me, her eyes bright and innocent, full of love and concern. She had no idea what Kevin had just told me. I closed my eyes and shook myhead. I would tell her when I hung up.  
  
Kevin took a deep breath, audible over the phone line spanning thousands of miles. "I will. Matt, I'm sorry."  
  
I wished he would quit saying that and the only way to make him stop was to hang up. "I'll call you with flight information as soon as I get it booked. Take care of my sisters and the boys until I get there."  
  
"You know I will."   
  
I hung up the phone and looked down at Sarah. "They're dead." The words fell out of my mouth, as if I said them every day.   
  
"Who?"  
  
"My...My parents..." I fell apart, right there. Right then and there, as I said those words. 'My parents'. The tears came full force, and the reality of I hit me hard in the chest. Right in the heart. My parents were dead.   
  
Sarah must have guided me to the couch. I don't remember getting there, but I was laying on it, curled up on my side, and Sarah was there, sitting with me holding my hand and stroking my hair. Taking care of me.   
  
Sarah made the flight arrangements. Sarah called the school, all our professors and the hospital where we both worked, to schedule a family emergency leave. She called Kevin back, to let him know when we would be in Glen Oak.   
  
I don't know what I would have done without her.  
  
*.~.* 


	3. The Weight Of The World On His Shoulders

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me. Please remember this is a work of fiction. All similarities to persons or events is purely coincidental. That said, it's time to begin.  
  
Author's Request: Please read and review. Constructive criticism welcome. Please don't flame.  
  
The Road Home  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
  
Chapter 2  
The Weight Of The World On His Shoulders  
  
(Robbie)  
  
I hung up the phone, in slow motion, because I could hardly force myself to move at all.. I felt like...I don't know what. Like the whole world had stopped turning for one split second and no one, nothing, would ever be the same again.   
  
Why had I told Kevin I would call Mary? Because...because it was an excuse to call her. Because she could come to me, or I could go to her, for comfort, and we could be together within fifteen minutes. And I wanted her to want me to comfort her. I almost needed that.  
  
Reverend and Mrs. Camden had taken me in, despite some pretty awful things I had done, and they made me feel like I was part of their family. They kept me off the streets, out of trouble, out of jail. Sometimes I wondered if they had saved my life, because I know I couldn't have gone on like I was for long. I probably would have ended up face down in an alley somewhere, and no one would have cared. They cared, and they made me care.  
  
I picked up the phone again and dialed her number. And I hung it up before the first ring. I couldn't tell her this news, this horrible, life altering news, over the phone. Not when we were so close, and I could just drive over to her apartment and tell her face to face. She needed to hear this news in person.  
  
"Mom," I yelled from the bottom of the stairs. "I'm going out for a while." I didn't wait to hear her answer.   
  
I've made the drive to Mary's apartment many times. I've only gone to her door once. She told me she didn't want to see me, and I told her I would respect that, even if it broke my heart. I had hoped we could make a new start and try again, but she wasn't interested.   
  
She would probably try to turn me away when I told her about the accident and her parents. She might even think I was making it up, but that would be pretty sick. I would never lie about something like that. She only had to call her parent's house and hear Lucy's voice to know it was real.  
  
She wasn't home when I got there. Damn it. I never considered that possibility. Oh well, I would just have to wait for her. And hope she wasn't on an over night flight.  
  
I sat down on the floor outside her door, and tried to keep my mind focused on other things so I wouldn't think of Reverend and Mrs. Camden. They were like parents to me, and much better at it than my own mom and dad had ever been. I felt like one of their children, and I think most of the Camden children accepted me like an adopted brother. All of them, except Mary, and I didn't want Mary to think of me like a brother anyway.   
  
Maybe it was inappropriate to think it, but I hoped Mary would lean on me now, and maybe, just maybe, this would be the start of a new chance for us.   
  
I don't think I was asleep, but I was in that foggy almost-asleep state, when I heard someone laughing a little in the distance. I shook my head to clear it, and when I looked up, Mary was coming down the hallway with her arm around some guy. She stopped short seeing me and pulled away from the guy, telling him 'Wait here.'  
  
"What are you doing here?" she demanded of me.  
  
I stood up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Seeing her, beautiful as always, made me think of her parents. I pressed my fingers against my eyes to block the thoughts and images. "Mary..."  
  
"Get out, Robbie. I told you-" She started, her voice rising slightly with each word.  
  
I put my hand up to signal her to stop. "Mary, it's your parents."  
  
"My parents? What about them? They sent you here? I don't want to hear anything they have to say."  
  
"Mary, they're dead."  
  
She stared at me, her mouth falling open without a sound. Her eyes shifted back and forth, searching my face, hoping I was lying. She had to know I wasn't lying, I wouldn't lie about something so serious. Once upon a time ago I might have made something this horrible up, but not now. Not since Reverend and Mrs. Camden helped me get my life back on track.  
  
"What?" She finally whispered.  
  
"I talked to Lucy a little while ago, Mary. They were in a car accident last night."  
  
Mary shook her head, and her mouth twisted with the pain she felt. I hesitated a moment before reaching out to her. She didn't protest, and I pulled her to my shoulder, my hands in her hair, hoping to give her some comfort.   
  
"I want to talk to Lucy."  
  
I nodded. "Where are your keys?" She handed them to me, and I turned a little, keeping my arm around her, and opened the door.  
  
I guided her to the sofa and eased her onto it.   
  
I had forgotten all about the guy she brought home until I went to close the door and he was standing there.  
  
"Is she all right?" he asked.  
  
I glanced at her over my shoulder. Mary had her hands over her face, struggling to get her tears under control. She looked very much like a small child and I wanted to go back over there and take her in my arms and hold her until the tears stopped. I wondered if the tears would ever stop after something like this. "No. I think you should go," I said to the guy, who didn't look like Mary's type at all. "Maybe she'll call you tomorrow."  
  
"If its all the same to you, pal, I'd like to stay."  
  
"It's not all the same to me, and I'm not your pal. I've known Mary a long time, and..."  
  
"It's okay, Robbie. Greg, I'm fine. But I have something I need tot ake care of. I'll explain it all later. Right now, I need to be alone. With Robbie. He's the guy I was telling you about, he lived with my family for a long time. He's practically my brother."  
  
"I bet," Greg sighed. "Don't bother to call, Mary. I know when I'm being dumped."  
  
"Greg, no. It's not like that..." Mary protested, but Greg just turned and walked away with a 'don't bother' wave of his hand.  
  
I shut the door and went back to Mary's side. "I'm sorry." I put my hand on her head, my fingers in her hair.   
  
She shook her head, but looked at me and tried to smile. "It's okay. I just...I can't...my parents..."   
  
"I know. It's hard to believe."  
  
"I need to talk to Lucy."  
  
"She's having a hard time with it." Duh. What a stupid thing to say. Of course she's having a hard time with it. She's there, in Glen Oak, with Simon and Ruthie and the twins, and the house, living it. "She couldn't even talk to me. Kevin had to tell me."  
  
"Did she call you?"  
  
I shook my head. "I called the house. I just wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing."  
  
Mary looked down, and her hair fell like a curtain around her face. Her body shook with a silent sob. I put my arms around her and she fell into my lap crying and moaning. I held her and tried to whisper little words of encouragement, things like 'It'll be all right' and 'We'll get through this' even though the words felt hollow to me. How could anything ever be all right again? How could we get through something like this?  
  
  
  
  
(Mary)  
  
I felt a flash of anger when I saw him there, sitting on the floor outside my apartment. How dare he, I thought. How dare he come here and expect me to...to what? I didn't even know what he wanted, and something about the way he got to his feet...he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.  
  
Still, I had to be angry, had to make him think I didn't want to see him.   
  
His words careened through my mind at full speed, creating crazy, disjointed images I didn't want to face. My parents...dead? But I had so much to say to them, so many things I wanted to say to them. Especially Dad. I had so many things I needed to say to Dad. They couldn't be gone. It's not fair!   
  
I gave Robbie my keys and he took me inside. I think I would have fallen flat on my face if he had let go of me. How do you keep your head up when it feels like your whole world has crumbled at your feet? Not even at my feet, because my whole world was really back home, in California, with my family.  
  
Certainly not here, in Ft. Lauderdale with Craig. I mean Greg. I guess I owed Robbie a thank you for sending Greg away. I didn't really even like the guy. I'm just glad we came back to my place instead of his.  
  
  
*.~.* 


	4. Gone

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me. Please remember this is a work of fiction. All similarities to persons or events is purely coincidental. That said, it's time to begin.  
  
Author's Request: Please read and review. Constructive criticism welcome. Please don't flame.  
  
The Road Home  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
  
Chapter 3  
Gone  
  
  
(Ruthie)  
  
I watched them and I wondered how they could be so...so calm, like nothing had happened. Lucy laughed and smiled and threw her arms around Kevin's neck. They hugged and kissed and caressed each other's hair and face and neck. They never acted like that when Mom and Dad were around.  
  
But I didn't say anything to them. I'm just a kid, they wouldn't listen to me anyway. And they're happy. Lucy looks really happy. Maybe she's glad Mom and Dad are gone so she and Kevin can live happily ever after without the parents looking over their shoulders. Kevin's mom is all the way across the country, Matt and Mary are too. It's just Lucy and Kevin now.   
  
"Are you going to the apartment tonight? Because I was thinking, maybe you should stay here."  
  
"We're not married yet, Luce."  
  
"I meant on the sofa." She slapped his shoulder playfully. He laughed and smiled and kissed her again, swinging her up in his arms.  
  
I left them in the kitchen without getting the snack I wanted. I just didn't feel very hungry all of a sudden.   
  
I wonder what will happen to me, Simon, and the twins. Simon's almost seventeen. In another year he'll be an adult. I'm only twelve. I've got five and a half years to worry about who's in charge of my life.  
  
It isn't fair. My parents were good people. Dad gave his life to the church. He worshipped God every day of his life. Maybe this was his punishment for the weeks after his heart surgery, when he questioned his faith. But it's not fair. He got his faith back, he found his way back to the church, and he recommitted to serving God. I don't understand why God would take him away just when he found himself again.  
  
And Mom too. Mom never did anything, but maybe nag a little too much. But who could blame her? She had seven kids, two new babies just when the rest of us were getting old enough to start taking care of ourselves. Sam and David would probably never know Matt and Mary anyway, especially now.  
  
They may not even know each other very long if the state gets a hold of them. Maybe Matt and Sarah will take us in. But they have school and 36 hour shifts at the hospital. They're not going to want the added stress of four children. Sam and David are a lot of work. Simon is even more work because he's a teenager. He's so moody and irritable. And I'm almost a teenager.  
  
I don't want to be a bother to anyone. Maybe I should just pack up a few things and go. No one would really miss me. They might be worried and upset when they realize I'm gone, but once they get over the initial shock of it, they'll be fine. I'm just one more mouth to feed, and no one needs that right now.  
  
  
  
(Simon)  
  
Every time I tried to read something in one of my school books, my mind wandered. I thought of my parents. I didn't want to think about the crash, and how scared they must have been. I didn't want to hear their screams or the grinding crunch of metal against metal. I didn't want to imagine my mother looking up, seeing the car coming toward her from the other lane. I didn't want to feel the helplessness of knowing there was nothing they could do but hope and pray for the best.  
  
Or maybe they never saw it coming. It was dark, they were coming home from a New Year's Eve party. Maybe they were so happy and giddy from the party that they felt carefree and maybe they were driving home thinking about how wonderful the new year might be. Maybe, just maybe they never saw it coming, and even if they felt it happen, they were both dead on the scene before the ambulance got there, so maybe they didn't suffer.  
  
That would be my prayer. Of course if God didn't answer my dad's prayers, and my dad was a minister, why would I think he would answer mine? I'm just a preacher's kid. I *was* a preacher's kid. I used to be a preacher's kid. Now I'm nobody's kid.  
  
I have always gone to church because we had to, because Dad was preaching and we were all expected to go. I never went because I wanted to, or because I felt moved to go.  
  
God won't answer my prayers. Why should he? I'm no one to him. I'm just a kid who lost his parents in a terrible car accident. Car accidents are one of the leading causes of death in America. They happen every day, in every city. Of course I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, to my family. I guess I thought we were safe with Dad being a minister and all. I thought God took care of his own.  
  
  
~.*.~  
  
(Lucy)   
  
Kevin and I each picked up one of the twins to carry them to bed. Halfway up the stairs I felt my stomach bottom out, like it did when I first heard about the accident. My parents should be taking the boys upstairs. Mom would have given them a bath tonight, and they would already be in the pajamas.  
  
"Should we change them?" Kevin asked.  
  
I shook my head. "I don't want to wake them." They were wearing sweat pants and a polo type shirt, so they should be comfortable enough. "Besides, they take naps in their clothes."  
  
"Okay. But we should take their shoes off, at least."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I hadn't looked in my parents' room on the way up. I didn't want to see it. Somehow it seemed wrong to look in there knowing they were gone. That was their room, and even though I had been in and out of there a thousand times, I felt like a trespasser just thinking about it now.   
  
I looked at Kevin, and he seemed to know what I was thinking. He stepped up tot he door and pulled it closed. We would deal with that, with their room, later, after the funeral. If the church let us keep the house, I would just as soon leave my parent's room just like it was. Kevin and I could take the attic bedroom, Ruthie could have her old room, Simon could stay in his room or take the garage apartment if he wanted it.  
  
How could I be thinking about stuff like that? My parents were dead less than twenty-four hours, and I was already planning sleeping arrangements in their absence. What kind of daughter was I?   
  
Kevin put his arms around me. "It's going to be okay, Luce. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you'll see. We'll get a routine going in the next few days..."  
  
I shook my head. I didn't want to be okay. I didn't want to 'get a routine going' without my parents.   
  
"I'm going to check on Simon and Ruthie." I pulled away from him. Simon's door was open just a crack. I peeked in to see him sprawled out on his bed with his school books scattered around him. His head was on his arm, eyes closed. His dog Happy lay against him, her head on his back. She sighed but didn't move, and I decided not to go in and clean up the mess around him.  
  
"He's asleep," I told Kevin. And I envied him because I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep.  
  
"I'll go with you," Kevin offered when I started up the steps to the attic bedroom Ruthie and I shared. So he felt it too. I worried about Ruthie, more than the others. I remembered being twelve and even though I wasn't angry at the world I had a chip on my shoulder and I felt like the world was against me. I wondered if Kevin felt the same all those years ago.  
  
I trudged up the steps, and it seemed a steeper climb than I remembered. Seemed like forever since I had been to my room, and it had only been last night. Last night, when my parents were still alive and still coming home.  
  
Damn it, why did thy have to go to that stupid party? They don't even...didn't even like Mr. Wilkes. Why would they go to his stupid New Year's Eve party? Dad never liked to go out on New Year's Eve, and he would never let Matt or Mary or me go out either, because of all the drunks on the road.  
  
If they hadn't gone to that party...I would be going up to bed now, instead of checking on Ruthie. A current of panic filled me and drummed through my vins. The room was empty. "Kevin?"  
  
"What, honey?"  
  
"She's not here."   
  
"What? Maybe she's in the bathroom..." He looked at the same time I did. The bathroom door was wide open.   
  
"No. She's gone. She's gone, Kevin. She's gone..."  
  
  
*.~.* 


	5. Hardest Part Is The Night

The Road Home  
Hello friends and readers! Dark Inzanity here with another installment of The Road Home. Sorry it's been so long since I updated...what can I say? I got a case of the lazies and my muse took the opportunity to fly south for the winter. I have called and arranged her flight home so hopefully the chapters of Road and Witness will come forth at regular intervals...For now here is the latest chapter of The Road Home. Please sit back, relax, read, enjoy, and please review. Thanks!  
  
This chapter will be in a Third Person Narrative...  
  
Ruthie Camden pulled her jacket tight at the base of her neck, trying to fight off the late-night chill. She had never really been outside after ten o'clock, or maybe eleven once or twice. Never past midnight and she had no idea it could be so could. She wished she had thought to pick up her heavy winter coat, the ones her parents bought her for cold afternoon horse back riding lessons.  
  
Images of her parents and the horses she suddenly realised she would never see flashed through her mind, licking at her memory like flames in a raging wild fire, heated and dangerous, and always threatening to surge out of control. Her parents' faces loomed in the distance, wavering like a desert mirage. Taunting her, tormenting her. They smiled and she reached for them, and the image weakened like a picture drawn on the wind.  
  
Ruthie wiped at her eyes before the tears slid down, before the salt could sting her cheeks. She didn't want to cry, never ever. Never again. She was a big girl now, and big girls shouldn't need to cry. The past was dead and gone, dead and gone just as her parents were dead and gone. No use crying over spilt milk once it was spilt.  
  
Her mind jumped from one thought to the next and temporarily settled on Lucy. She wondered what Lucy was doing, thinking, right then. Had she pulled herself away from Kevin long enough to realise she was gone? Probably not. Maybe there was still time to go back, sneak in, sneak up to her room and slip into bed. Or if she got caught she could say she just had to get out for a little while, get some fresh air. Didn't Lucy notice how stale and stagnant the air in the house felt?   
  
But she knew she wouldn't go home. The world was her home now. Not the big white house the church owned. Not the house where Lucy talked to Kevin about staying the night when her parents weren't even in the ground yet. Well, they would be free to do whatever they liked, they could even sleep together in the attic bedroom if they wanted to, now that Ruthie was gone.  
  
Simon might miss her, and the twins definitely would for a little while. She estimated they would forget about her in a month's time, maybe two months. They were so young, they would forget her, just as they forgot Matt and Mary, and they would forget their own parents in time as well. Their Mommy and Daddy would be talked about with reverence as Matt was, while Ruthie would fall into the long lost, wayward and perhaps derelict category as Mary.  
  
A shrill whistle, sounding like some sort of cat-call, thrust Ruthie out of the forest fire of her uncontrollable thoughts. She looked up and blinked, her eyes needing a moment to focus on the car at the curb in front of her, The passenger window was down and a middle aged man leaned across the seat of his sleek silver Mercedes. He smiled and revealed a row of perfect white teeth. "You need a ride sweetheart?"  
  
Ruthie shook her head, but rose to her feet and dusted off the backs of her legs where the cold air seemed to reach her very bones. "No thank you." She reached back for her bag, and slung it on her shoulders. She took two steps forward, as if she meant to walk away.  
  
"Come on, darlin'. It kills me to think of you all alone out here in the cold." He flashed something just barely above the window. Ruthie stepped closer to see if it was what she thought, a rolled up wad of dollar bills. "It's going to be a cold night, honey. Let me get you a hotel room. Please?"  
  
Her parents always warned her about talking to strangers. Her father had even preached on the subject in church. More than once. She remembered every word he said, but her parents were dead. And she was moving toward the car. One foot in front of the other. Step by step. She knew this stranger wasn't offering to drop her off at the nearest hotel with a wad of cash. He expected something in return. And she reached the car, put her hand on the door handle, pulled, opened, slipped into the passenger seat.  
  
"What's your name, baby?"  
  
"Juliet," she answered quickly, spouting out the first name she thought of besides her own. Ruthie Camden was in that moment as dead as her parents.   
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Simon Camden's heart raced and his stomach rumbled with fear. The headlights from the other car came toward him, hurtling through time and space, destined to crash. He knew it, knew he was powerless to stop the unfathomable. He gripped the steering wheel so tight that his arms ached from the strain and his entire body grew taught with the anticipation.  
  
Hi own scream woke him and he found himself safe in his own bed. His heart seemed to be thumping in his throat and he knew he was about to be sick. He pushed Happy off his lap and stumbled to the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time.  
  
Whe he felt completely empty inside, he stood at the sick, carefully avoiding his own image in the mirror, and splashed cold water on his face. He thought about a warm shower, or maybe a bath to help him relax, but he knew he wasn't going to relax. How could he even think of it when his parents were dead?  
  
He needed to check on everyone else, needed to see them and reassure himself they were there and unharmed. He started with the twins, two innocent tow-headed boys fast asleep in their matching beds, still dressed in their day clothes. He stood for a long time in their doorway watching the even rise and fall of their little chests. He imagined his mother doing the same thing, knew she had stood guard over all her babies in this way. She had stood in the very same doorway where Simon stood now, just two nights earlier, before she left for Mr. Wilkes New Years' Eve party.   
  
Simon wondered if she had any clue at all that she would never see her babies again after that. He knew sometimes it seemed, after the fact, that people knew they were going to die. Little things like one extra kiss, or a romantic note left on a pillow. Something that seemed sweet or normal at the time and only later some survivor put the pieces together and identified it as some kind of earthly good-bye. He wondered if he could find any such message from his parents in his memories of the last few days. He hoped he could, because some special little sign like that might give him some kind of closure.  
  
With a weary sigh, he forced himself to turn away from the twins, fearing he might stand there all night watching their innocent sleep. He could only hope Ruthie had been able to find a similar peace in her soul. He expected she had because she wasn't in his room, seeking comfort next to him as she had always looked to him in the past. He realised as he trudged up the steps that he felt disappointed that he didn't wake to find Ruthie in his room.  
  
Maybe she had come to him, and turned away when she found him asleep. She wouldn't have wanted to disturb him. He could deal with that.   
  
The attic bedroom seemed unnaturally quiet, and lay totally empty. No Ruthie, no Lucy. Only Happy on the stairs behind him. He reached down to pet her between the ears. "Where do you think they are, Girl? Do you think they're downstairs gorging themselves on ice cream and potato chips? That's what I think."  
  
He went down to find them, and found the kitchen as quiet as the bedroom. Lucy and Kevin he found in the living room, huddled together on the sofa. That's how they looked. Huddled. Not cuddling. Not simply hugging or laying together. They were huddled, as Kevin meant to shield Lucy from the world around her.  
  
"Lucy?" Simon heard his own voice but barely recognized it because of the raw fear he felt suddenly clawing at his throat. "Where's Ruthie?"  
  
Kevin sat up and Lucy sat up and Simon stared at their two tear streaked faces. "Simon..."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
Lucy shook her head and Kevin got to his feet. She looked so small, so fragile, where he left her sitting on the sofa. "Simon...Ruthie is...Ruthie left."  
  
"What? Left? What does that mean?"  
  
"It means...she's run away."  
  
"How do you know?" Simon glared at Kevin as if he blamed Kevin for Ruthie's apparent departure.  
  
""Some of her clothes are missing and the money your mom kept hidden in the coffee can above the refrigerator."  
  
"Oh God..." Simon sat down in the nearest chair and the dam that held back his tears blew apart, creating a raging river that flowed down his face. 


	6. Thinking

The Road Home  
Chapter 5  
  
Author's Note: I really hate to start this way, and I hope I don't step on any toes or turn any readers away, but I have to do this. I have been in a quandary about this fic for some time, since the reviews started coming in after the last chapter. A lot of readers questioned Ruthie's behavior, when she chose to get in the car with a stranger flashing a wad of money. I alternate between ignoring the reviews and forging ahead and scrapping the story altogether.   
  
I have decided to go ahead with the next chapter and see what kin of response it gets. You see, grief is a wicked thing, because of the event that causes it, and because of the things grief does to a person. I dare say everyone reading this has said or done something, sometime, that was completely 'out of character', grief induced or not. In Ruthie's case, her grief, her fear of the future, and her sense of overwhelming loss has left a void in her that affected her in ways she can't even begin to understand.   
  
At this point, dear reader, you have two choices. I hope you will stick with me and see this story through. Or you can scroll up, hit the back button or the X to take yourself out of this story. If you do that, you will miss out on a great story, because I have a lot of big plans...So please give it a chance. I'll do my best to make sure you're not sorry...  
  
And now, drum roll please, time for the commencement of the story, The Road Home, chapter 5...  
(Lucy)  
  
I sent Simon to the airport to pick up The Colonel, Grandma Ruth, Grandpa, and Ginger because it gave him something to do, something to keep his mind off Mom and Dad and Ruthie. I told him not to say anything about Ruthie if he could help it, and we prayed that she would be home before he got back. She had to come back, she simply had to com home. Today. I had just lost my mother and my father, I couldn't bear to lose my little sister too, not like this.   
  
Thank God for Kevin. I wouldn't have made it through the night without him. He was like my rock, my tower to lean on. I needed him to help me keep my head above water because it would have so easy to let go, to give up, to drown in the sea of grief and pain.   
  
We slept on the sofa, his arms around me, with Simon and Happy curled up in the char across from us. I'm not sure any o us really slept, but we took some comfort from being together. At least I did. I felt safe in Kevin's arms, and I prayed my baby sister felt safe wherever she was.  
  
I think we all believed we would find her tucked up in her bed, and she was never really gone. Or if she left, if she thought she had to get out for whatever reason, she would have come home. She just had to. She was too young to b out there on her own, all alone...She had to come home...  
  
I kept myself busy with the twins after Simon left for the airport. Sam and David didn't seem to care that Mom and Dad were gone. They laughed and played and sang their silly little songs as if nothing was wrong.   
  
"You be the daddy," David told Sam. "I be the mama." He beat on his chest like Tarzan.  
  
"I can be the mama!" Sam argued and mirrored David's chest beating.  
  
David shook his head. "I mama. You daddy. You go church." He pointed at the door.  
  
"I want be the mama!" Sam yelled.   
  
I walked away, left them to play in their room alone. I couldn't listen to them anymore, with their child-like innocence. They had no idea Mom and Dad were gone forever, even though I had told them they went up to heaven.   
  
I wanted to be a kid again, innocent like Sam and David, and because if I was a kid Mom and Dad would still be alive and they would have several years to live. Why did they, two beautiful God-loving people, have to die? It wasn't fair.   
  
The front door opened and I rushed to the stairs hoping it would be Ruthie. "Ruthie?" I called out her name.  
  
"No, it's just me," Mary's voice called.   
  
I ran down the steps to see her. Tears welled in my eyes and slipped down my cheeks. I never thought I would be so happy to see Mary again. But she was there, whole and alive and warm. I hugged her, held on to her, cried into she shoulder.   
  
Robbie came in a moment later and put his arms around both of us until Kevin coughed from the living room doorway. Robbie broke off and shook hands with Kevin. I still held on to Mary, and I didn't ever want to let go. 


	7. Adjusting

The Road Home   
Chapter 6  
  
**Note: Cypher, you suggested making sure I got the chapter number right when I posted chapters…The actual written chapter number is behind the ff.net chapter posted by one because the first post is a prologue, making chapter one show as chapter 2 in the pull down chapter menu. Sorry for any confusion that may cause, but there's nothing to be done, as ff.net does not offer a default prologue option. (I do appreciate the suggestion, as I would definitely want to be correct if I was in error! So thank you, Cypher for pointing out a potential mistake)  
  
(Simon)  
  
Sarah's father, Rabbi Glass, and Dad's assistant pastor Chandler Hampton both spoke at the funeral. Dad would have wanted it that way. He and Rabbi Glass had an interesting relationship, a mutual respect of sorts, after Matt and Sarah were married. And despite a shakey beginning, Dad and Chandler eventually learned to work together and make a great ministering team. I wondered how Chandler would do on his own, though I didn't really care. It was something to think about instead of the terrible harsh reality of burying my parents.  
  
I felt pretty numb during the funeral. I kept hoping Ruthie would show up, but she didn't. And when it was over, Lucy, Matt, Mary, and I stood by the caskets for a long time. No one said a word. I wondered if I should pray or talk to them in my head. I didn't know what to say, and my mind raced with a thousand thoughts and images, and finally Matt had to pull me away and I fell against him crying, moaning. The sounds I made didn't even sound human.   
  
"It's gonna be okay," Matt said. "It's gonna be hard, but we're gonna get through this."  
  
His words didn't really comfort me, but I let him think hey did. I calmed down by sheer determination and focus on my breathing. In, out, in, out. One, two, three, four. In, out, in, out.  
  
I wanted to cry. I wasn't even sure I had any tears left in me. But I felt like crying. I felt like curling up in a ball in a dark room. I missed my mom, my dad, and my sister. I really thought Ruthie was going to show up at the funeral. The fact she didn't…Well, that scared me.   
  
What if she was hurt? She could be hurt somewhere and no one would even know. She might even die. Alone. And no one would ever know who she was. What if she never came home? How long would we keep hoping and praying? How long would the twins remember her?  
  
So far they hadn't even asked about her. But there was a lot going on, Matt and Mary were home, Grandparents were there, friends and parishioners from the church were always at the house. We were always busy, and the boys were often left alone to play in their bedroom. I tried to spend some time with them, but sometimes I just couldn't get away from all the people, and when I could get away I needed to be alone.  
  
I wanted to be alone as soon as we got home from the funeral. A lot of the mourners came back to the house, and many of them brought food. Kevin asked me to be in charge of putting the food away. I did it because it had to be done, and because it gave me something to do.   
  
I kept looking out the back door, thinking I saw Ruthie out there. Mostly it was just other people walking around, talking, using my parent's death as an excuse to socialize.  
  
"Simon," a voice called me away from trying to find room for a casserole in the fridge. "How are you?"  
  
I decided not to tell Aunt Julie the truth about how I felt. "I'm okay."  
  
"Are you?"   
  
I shook my head, but still didn't tell her the truth. She didn't need to know I was thinking about walking out the door like Ruthie did. I had a few hundred dollars saved up, I could survive on that for a long time. And maybe, just maybe, I could find Ruthie while I was at it.  
  
"I'll be okay. My parents are dead. I'm not." The harshness of my own words shocked even me.  
  
Aunt Julie nodded. "It's going to be a big adjustment."  
  
"I know."  
  
"For all of you. I just wanted to let you know you are always welcome to come stay with Hank and me."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome." She hugged me, squeezed just a little. It felt good. I felt good for about two seconds, until she pulled away. I watched her leave and I felt an emptiness where she had just been.  
  
*.~.*  
  
(Kevin)  
  
I watched Lucy and how she seemed to struggle just to talk to someone, anyone who approached her, and I wondered how long she would be able to keep her head up. I wanted to take her away from all this, to some deserted island or something, someplace quiet, just the two of us. She needed to get away from the city, from the pain and the memories and all the well-meaning people who assaulted her with questions about how she was coping with the death of her parents.  
  
I think Ruthie's disappearance actually hit Lucy harder because there were so many questions without answers. Eric and Annie were dead. Ruthie was just gone. Out there. Alone. Or not alone. Probably cold and hungry and lonely. Maybe dead.   
  
Lucy and I didn't really talk about Ruthie. I was a cop, I knew what could happen to a little girl out there on her own. Most of the time, it wasn't good. Unfortunately the world was full of opportunistic people who would just as soon take advantage of a little girl rather than help her find her way back home. I'd seen too many cases, too many little girls who never made it home.  
  
Sergeant Michaels had just come in to the room when I saw Lucy sway. She looked very pale, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Sergeant Michaels saw it took. He and I both moved through the crowded living room to get to her. Sergeant Michaels got there first, but we were both too late.   
  
Lucy fell to the ground. The people close to her all jumped back with little gasps of shock and surprise. I pushed my way through to her and knelt beside her, took her head into my lap.  
  
I stroked her hair and her cheek, and I talked to her softly to try to rouse her. Her eyes fluttered several times before she opened them, and for a moment I wasn't even sure she saw me.  
  
"Kevin?"  
  
"I'm here, I've got you."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"You passed out."  
  
Sergeant Michaels went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. She sat up to drink it with little baby sips.  
  
"Where are the kids?"  
  
"Out back with Julie and Hank."  
  
She leaned her head against me and sighed. "I'm so tired."  
  
"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?"  
  
I ended up carrying her upstairs, to her bedroom. I lay her on the bed and covered her up.   
  
"Stay with me." Her eyes were closed.  
  
"I have to go back downstairs. All those people…" Someone had to be downstairs to talk to them, and I couldn't put that on Simon.  
  
"Don't leave me alone. I'm so tired of being alone."  
  
"You're not alone, Luce. I'll be downstairs and I'll come up as soon as I can."  
  
She turned onto her side, facing the wall with her back to me.  
  
"I love you, Luce."  
*.~.*  
  
Well, what do you think? Please read and review, it only takes a moment. 


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